Because I have always said that. We were so young, wild and free. Most of the time rational is what kept us from doing what we ain't supposed to do but just how many times does that work? Pity. And when that happened it is never too late to turn back and search for the lights. Allah always accept our do'a and shines us with lights and pathway.
Too many things happened and only recently I realized that I don't simply live to just eat and have fun. I have responsibilities. To ayah and mak, to my own self and the rest. Lately I have been so scared for some reason I never want to talk about. I am never an Iron Man. Neither a Tony Stark with a heart of steel. I really wanted to go home. I miss ayah and mak badly I can't tell already. I missed being kid and get scolded each and every day and I never care.
And after all this while now is my time to change. I am 18 and my roads is a long way still it is me to put the effort and to make it. A success or another failure. Damn it I hate myself for being such a jerk! Ignorance really kill people sometimes. I am not being emotional. I am being scared of my own shadow. Every mens' dream is Jannah and never in my life heard people wanted to go for the hell. Astaghfirullahalazim :'(