Thursday, July 17, 2014


We give
Then go back for more
NO doubts,
NO holding back,
NO giving in.
The court, the catwalk,
The stadium to the street.
Inclusion over ego,
United by passion,

New Semester (September 2014)

I am seeing myself as a good student, not sleeping in the class and not taking caffeine so frequently because it’s not good! Trying so hard to pass all my minitests and at the same time I should start my healthy lifestyle (which I neglected during my first year).

I saw myself thin and curvy but that’s the point. I only saw myself but I can’t feel the change. Why? Because I cheated a lot. I went from I’m on diet to I had enough of diet (after losing 4 kgs) and I need some cheat days that blow my diet into ashes. Next month, finding myself gaining back that 4kgs I lost. I am so bad and I hate myself so much. Being thin is my ultimate goal since I finished high school. Come on, don’t tell me no one wants to look as hot as fuck during their high school reunion after 10 years. Hello!

Therefore, I’m setting new goals for myself and my new rewards for myself should be in terms of clothing. That’s right! Why reward yourself with food when you lose weight. Instead, buy new clothing items let’s say I’ll go shopping once a month because, I have a busy life and time constraint, definitely a barrier.

How much weight I want to ditch? Currently weighing 67 or 68kgs on different scale and I really want the taste of thigh gap and all. My little sister is 41kgs and people can’t tell we’re sisters. *cry*. Okay just kidding. 49kgs sounds good to me. I’ll put live updates every 7 days with my weight.

Hello high school reunion, let’s do this!
(p/s: losing 19kgs sounds impossible but when others can, why can’t I do the same. Beat the impossibilities)
(17th July 2014)

Get Back

I am terrible at doing so many things at one time which basically means multi tasking. I am bad for not keeping up with this blog since God knows when. I am a lady now, 19 and healthy (or not due to overweight ish!). Just finished my first year as dental student and God knows how much I suffered the last 2 semesters.

Took 4 basic sciences subject and failed miserably at two of them named Biochemistry and Physiology. But at a brighter side of life, I managed to pass Anatomy and Oral Biology which are at the same level of intensified hardness if I could tell (confession of the survivor). So I had to re-seat for the 2 papers I failed in August 2014 haihhh my summer is ruined. By the time I’m posting this latest entry I wish to delete all my information and making this blog not private anymore so people can read and I wish to share tips and tricks towards healthier, non stressful life.

Basic tip #1.

All of us should stop complaining and start doing, and that’s definitely how I gather all my shits and sit down at the main library UKM Bangi and started studying Anatomy. The entire study weeks I pulled out every energy left inside of me to save my grades (without complaining ‘I can’t understand what the lecturer saying’ ‘I hate this subject’ ‘why I have to study everything I just want to be a dentist’). I did complained a lot before till I realised there’s no use of complaining if you can’t get the job done.
Therefore I hope, once again I can’t pulled up my sleeves and sit down and study these 2 papers so hard. Graduating in only 5 years, never more.

Friday, February 28, 2014

HUGE wakeup call.

It has been so long since my last post. Life is so different now, and yes, I'm a grown up too. Let's just be honest here. I'M FAT! 

Yes, and all this while, I think that I'm just being a normal girl with normal BMI but no. I'M FAT. So the story begin after a cafe visit. The pak cik cafe thinks I'm fat and it broke my little heart to the smallest little pieces. It was so sudden, very rude at certain point but I take it slowly. Maybe he is tight uknow. 

Nevertheless, I use to be fatter. 


p/s: I'm not going to the cafe anymore.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Rangkaian Hati 2013

For once in the lifetime. I listen to a man's story of his live. One particular soul wondering on this faithful Earth. He is a friend of mine. A classmate. For once I hate him so much. And last night I changed my whole perception. My whole point of view. My whole and intire mind.

I questioned myself. How can a little kid lose his mother and adapt to a new situation? Where his new stepmother is his mom's best friend. I wouldn't and propably can't accept dad's decision if it were to be the same. And last night when I listened to it, I feel it. Almost the very same way. But through a bit of a different angle. Because he is a boy and I am a girl.

One day, I reflect what I've really done my entire teenage year, I was surprised. I did less good and more bad than I knew. The last time I count my sins, I got a shock. A real timebomb.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Be A Little Girl Again

I still remember there was one day. It was 2003 if I am not mistaken. I entered a story teling competition. My mother was a teacher and she wrote the story. Something similar to Red Riding Hood but yeah it was 10 years ago, how can I remember. So the weekend before the competition mum thought that we should go shopping for dresses appropriate to the theme of the story.

This is a sad story. Bear in mind.

We are not a family of rich people. Mum is just a primary school teacher and dad is working with Felcra. Just a small earning clerk ;) I still remember those times. Mum and dad work really hard to make our ends meet. I used to dressed up like a little boy. Most of the time, I helped mum and dad. It was the most beautiful time of our life.

And back to my initial story, that day we went shopping, we just cannot find anything that cost just nice for my family to afford it. When we were in a supermarket, mum found a dress that I thought the most prettiest dress I have ever seen my entire life. And it cost about RM80++ :( mum is devastated and ruined. There's no way dad could afford it. As I was looking through, she said "We will find something for you no matter how much it will cost us".

In the end of the day, mum found me a dress in a carnival. Which was only RM15 :) I was so happy that she bought me 2 of those darlings. Pretty dresses I have ever had~ Flipping through the memories, I think that it is very good for us to remember where we came from. Never ever forget what we used to be how much we suffered in the past. Life is never easy and now, I can say that I am from a rich family. From what mum and dad fought in the past, both of them make our life easy and comfortable.

I am very proud of them as they never give up in life. I promise them one day, I will definitely pay back what they have invested for my future. And my brother and sister too.

Sunday, May 26, 2013


As the title. It tells more than the truth because I am feeling extremely happy and relieved. I have never been this much relieved *except from the moment I received exam's result* haha. Most of the time I have been through nightmares of what going to happen next and few minutes back in my life just saved me from thousands of years of regrets. Ouh my~ I am so happy I think I need to breath!

So something has been bothering me so much lately and I think it has taken away my happiness and my free soul. Too much of the pressure put me in an oven for few days. But yes, now I'm done with it! I am free to go and free to live. Yeah! *at Pavilion KL*

I'm out again this week to relive my sisterhood moments with my little sister. Haha. The reason is just to watch Fast and Furious 6 :) how on Earth can someone missed that awesome movie. I went to Midvalley to watch it last friday but the tickets was long gone. God damn-it! Until 2 days later, haha I finally get the tickets!! *screaming with tears of joy* Honestly I cheated a bit. My sister is just 17 y/o and the movie is PG18. *who cares* Bought the tickets and yes,, take a loook people and do not be jealous. Even bought big bucket of popcorn and scream like hell in the cinema.

Ngehehe. While waiting, we went to Daiso and bought something for the upcoming event for my sister. A venetian mask *if I did spell it right*. Specifically for someone else because my sister is wearing glasses and she will never ever wear lenses! And before we head back home, we tried the new Korean Spicy chicken from KFC. Seriously it can't go any spicier than that. Tooodleeesss!