Heart-Breaking Moment

I’m not a perfect person, there are so many things I wish I didn’t do and I never meant to do those things to u. I just want you to know. I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new and the reason is you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. It’s something I have to live with every day and all the pain I put u through I wish I can take it all away and be the one who catch your tears and breathe. I found a reason to show, a side of me u didn’t know and it’s all because of you.
People know, people notice it. It has been a long time story. The story that I tried to forget once. So hard until I hurt myself. Badly injured, bleeding heart. It has been an old time story until one day, it appears again. Out of nowhere. I am kind of happy, but still I tried to put up my ego. I admit it, last week, I rejected you. Besides, we never talk before. Not a single phrase of ‘Hi, I’m Suraiya’. Never! I don’t know why, but I guess, the ego is too much for you to take. Until at last, my friend come out with the story that you are dating my friend.
There’s nothing much that I can say. Nothing that I can comment on your relationship. You guys look perfect and I’m happy for both of you. Just like her favourite song PERFECT TWO or MARRY YOU.
: The conclusion is, I still have to move on with my life. You! Do what ever you like.
-The End-

Heart-Breaking Moment

I’m not a perfect person, there are so many things I wish I didn’t do and I never meant to do those things to u. I just want you to know. I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new and the reason is you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. It’s something I have to live with every day and all the pain I put u through I wish I can take it all away and be the one who catch your tears and breathe. I found a reason to show, a side of me u didn’t know and it’s all because of you.
People know, people notice it. It has been a long time story. The story that I tried to forget once. So hard until I hurt myself. Badly injured, bleeding heart. It has been an old time story until one day, it appears again. Out of nowhere. I am kind of happy, but still I tried to put up my ego. I admit it, last week, I rejected you. Besides, we never talk before. Not a single phrase of ‘Hi, I’m Suraiya’. Never! I don’t know why, but I guess, the ego is too much for you to take. Until at last, my friend come out with the story that you are dating my friend.
There’s nothing much that I can say. Nothing that I can comment on your relationship. You guys look perfect and I’m happy for both of you. Just like her favourite song PERFECT TWO or MARRY YOU.
: The conclusion is, I still have to move on with my life. You! Do what ever you like.
-The End-

The Essence Of Life

I never thought about this before but now I started to realize. My life is nothing without you. Memories here, full with you. Sweet, bad, terrible, horrible. Everything, thanks to you. When I cried, you were there, not the one that I cried for. I, once fell in the deepest dream that I created on my own and I realize, I woke up because of you. I, once fell on my way to success and it was you who brought me up again. I, once cried because of him and it was you who wiped my tears away with your smile, advice and joke. It’s never been easy to forget someone you have a crush on but with you around I think it’s easy. Way too easy until I hurt myself again with thoughts and dreams.
I am so happy you win the NST SIR. You have been studying so hard. You deserved everything. I wish you all the best for the next challenge. Gee~

Another Frightening Fight

Once you have the experience involving in the stupid fight between friends, you will always remember it. Forever and always.

Here it goes. We usually eat, chat, study and go everywhere together, but on this unlucky day, I notice that he is ignoring me and my other 2 friends. He eats breakfast with his chinese friends, he ignore all my important question and sit at the end of the class with his pricey VAIO! der~ i hate him!

Went through the day badly. Until I make a decision to apologize if I have ever done something to him. I use his sticky note in his laptop, enlarge it until he can't even see all his application. I can be quite annoying if I want to be. So, be careful. I wrote it with every feeling. Tears keep rolling down my cheek. Stupid tears! But in the end, he didn't even read it. He read just the first line, the middle line and the last line. Such a pitiful fact. Don't he know that I wrote it with feelings?

At the end of the day, he told me that he was just kidding and I'm the one taking it too seriously. I cried a lot that day just because of his stupid joke. Huh! And he added that my reaction was hilarious! What the hell. I cried thinking that he hate me, while he is at the corner of the class laughing at me! Such an evil person! Don't you have a heart?

But still, I want to thank him, he teach me how to grow up, being an adult in a big world.

And P/S: I love the bear hug you gave me at the end of the day and whenever I look up at the star, I always wish that our friendship will never break apart. Stay still to the end of our lifetime.

Love Quote

Knock Me Down

I never thought I'd in love like this. because when I look at you my mind goes on a trip. Then you came in and knock me down on my face. Feels like I'm in a race, but I already won first place. I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did. Every morning, I look at you and smile,cause boy you came around and you knock me down. Sometimes love comes around and it knocks me down just get back up when it knocks me down.

Gu Jun Pyo

it's a wave!!! help!!!

Exhausted > Tired> Sleepy> Caffeinated

I’ve been sleeping at 3a.m. and above throughout the week. Even the coffee that I love taste suck today. Too much intake of caffeine really kills me. I don’t know but I guess, I’ve been too hardworking this week. Today, I play again and I feel like I’ll never stop playing again. I can play, so why did I stop playing just to study? Now my eyes are all red, itchy and heavy.
Chemistry sucks today. I scored 2/30 in my test. Shit! I should study more la. Got to go. Update more later.

True Friendship Do Exist.

Thanks dude. You showed me how to appreciate my friends. What happen today really kills my mood. -MOODLESS- Get into a quite big row with my best friend until I shed tears. I don’t really understand what happen until I realize he didn’t talk to me, didn’t respond to my question, ignoring me all day and sleep during all the gap between periods in class and the worst ever, he didn’t even ask me to help him to pick the right chicken that he loves so much at lunch.

Finished class and I went to talk to him. He didn’t even look at me. I was so disappointed until I slam and bang everything in my way. Still, he pretended like nothing ever happen. Acting cool la~ On my way to cafe for dinner, I met my another bestie from other class. I ended up sobbing and crying and wasting tissue in the cafe. The worst thing I ever did my entire life. Crying in the cafe. She was so patient, listening to my stupid problem and giving some advice. my face and eyes looks like I never been sleeping for a week. Probably people might think that there’s no use of crying over boys especially with too high maintenance to keep. Just like him. But for me, I care a lot of people’s feeling. Besides, he’s my best friend. I can’t help it but to talk to him at least once in 1 hour. Since he entirely change, I was so sad, disappointed and I took it deep into my heart. Combining every single problem plus this one, I produces more than 1 litre of tears. Lol. I’m exaggerating.

Back in the college, I cried again on the bed. Soaking my bed sheet and pillow with tears. Tissue scattered around the room. I guess, I’m too tired until I fell asleep for 3 hours. Woke up again at 10++p.m. Took my bath and went to my friends room, cry again there. Talk a bit and cry again and again. The next thing that I remember was, she didn’t even pay attention to what I’m mumbling cause she’s already in her dream. So I went to my bestie’s room. Looking tired and restless with red eyes, I sit and talk something crazy until he suddenly texted me saying ‘ I am not mad at you today. I am just not in a good mood today. Due to the lack of sleeping and terrible chemistry results. That’s why I answer you in that manner. If I overstep, I apologize, but I want you to remember that I won’t be mad at you for a small thing like not telling me a girls thing. I understand one. Ok? And sorry I made you shed tears. I didn’t mean to.’

I feel sorry for myself my dear. I don’t care, even if you really hate me, I will never hate you, but still I love style. You still apologize while right now, not many of the boys know how to say sorry.
I love you friend. Just keep that in mind. What ever happen, we’ll get through it. No matter through thick or thin. Even though I’ve been told at least a thousand times it’s not worth the struggle, the hurt or the trouble.

WHY ON EARTH YOU HATE ME?

There are always a thousand reason on why someone hate the other. But should I ask you or not, why did you hate me? Just so you know, I'm getting crazy here. Apart from you, who else care about me? who else call me in the middle of the night just to share problem? who else keep me company in the middle of a lonely night studying + texting. I miss all of the sweet memories of us together. And now, all of it was just a memory. And you are keeping distance from me. For no point.

Even though everything ended up this way, I'll never hate you. I PROMISE!

Perfectly Imperfect

Well, another day passed through my life as in there’s nothing ever happen between us. Hey you! I know that I’m not that perfect. I slept in the morning. I have dark circle. I have all the things that you probably hate. But then, I have you in my heart. Haha. Lol. Put a full stop at this chapter. Let’s move on to my next topic.

The chemistry quiz. A very fuzzy one I guess. As Tim said. ‘I don’t have any chemistry with chemistry’. I like that one though. Quite true actually. I do memorize the whole periodic table but not that stupid calculation part. Hate it! I slept at 2a.m last night and I score only 2! What the hell!

Here we go! The Japanese Class. Now I already memorized 25 Japanese character. Cool. Isn’t it? Love Japanese. Love Japan.

Crazier

Boy, no other word can describe my feeling. Yuks! What the hell is going on with me. Well let’s just say that you drive me crazy. Day by day. Crazier. I know how imperfect I can be at the time being. Probably I am that kind of girl who would cry alone in a dark, secluded room rather than go and tell you what’s inside me. Just a little too not over you, and I’ve been told at least a thousand times it’s not worth the struggle, the hurt or the trouble. I keep running up this front lights, but no. I won’t surrender, I’ll wait here forever. If I told you that I love you, but I’m doing alright without you would be a lie. But I could try. Id run 1000 miles.

Happy Tree Friends

Could It Be?????

Thanks dear Menusha~ this 1 means a lot to me...

I know we've been friends forever
But now I think I'm feeling something totally new
And after all this time I opened up my eyes
Now I see you were always with me

Could it be you & I
Never imagined
Could it be suddenly I'm fallin' for you
Could it be you were right here beside me and I never knew
Could it be that it's true
It's you and it's you

It's kinda funny you were always near
But who would ever thought we'd end up here
And everytime I need you, you've been there for me
Now it's clear I've been waiting for you

'Cause today is the start of the rest of our lives
I can see it in your eyes
And it's real, and it's true
It's just me and you
Could it be that it's you

Hey You!!!

that is all that I know~

I'm serious!!!

hey babe~
i'm scared because..
i dont want anyone else to have your heart,
i dont want anyone else to kiss your lips,
i dont want anyone else to be in your arms,
i dont want anyone else to be the one you love.
i'm scared because..
i dont want anyone else to TAKE MY PLACE

and seriously, like seriously... even though we're just friends, I do appreciate every single second, every single minute, every single moment wit you my dear~

A Red Boxing Glove Pumping

What’s up with the title la.

My Heart Beats for Love. It’s the sound that I hear tells me not to give up. Such a good lyric. Thumbs up Miley Cyrus. Well not everyone actually will be given a chance to make a perfect day. But then with a little help of someone, I might be perfect. A great day, perfect and just flawless.
Just to flash back, on Friday, I have this kinda important quiz for my Biology class. Chapter 3~ molecules of life, AP syllabus, I drank 3 mugs of caffeine that kept me awake the whole night. Although I didn’t sleep that night, only 4 solid hours I used to study. The rest, I chit chat with my friend, Tim called me for 1 hour, 9 minutes and 56 seconds and dance Hannah Montana- Hoedown Throwdown (yea~ practically in the middle of the night). Fuhh! I don’t really care about my sleep time already nowadays. I just want to do better in my study. About the test, well let’s just that Tim actually encouraged me to study more. Thanks didi. (he’s gonna be mad if he knows that i call him didi)

Score: 14/25(where almost everyone think that it’s great enough)
Btw, the red boxing glove pumping refers to my heart ok...

No Life In Me

I know now, as I knew as that little girl fighting sleep, that behind the gauze screen of shut-eye, lies colour. It taunts me, dares me to open my eyes and lose sleep. Flashes of red, amber and white speckle my darkness. I refuse to open them. I rebel and I squeeze my eyelids together tighter to block out the grains of light, mere distractions that keeps us awake but a sigh that there’s life beyond it.
But there’s no life in me. None that I can feel, from where I lie at the bottom of the staircase. My heart beats quicker now, the lone fighter left standing in the ring, a red boxing glove pumping victoriously into the air, refusing to give up. It’s the only part of me that cares, the only part that ever cared. It fights to pump the blood around to heal, to replace what I’m losing. But it’s all leaving my body as quickly as it’s sent, forming a black deep ocean of its own around me where I’ve fallen.

A Pear and A Melodious Song

Flashes of red, amber and white speckle my darkness. I refuse to open them. I rebel and I squeeze my eyelids together tighter to block out the grains of light, mere distractions that keeps us awake but a sigh that there’s life beyond it.
Oh My Goodness’!!! It’s 5 o’clock in the evening. I should be having tea this time around. I opened the window and the gentle breeze brushes my hair gently. I hear a kind of music being played. A sad song, but the harmony between the notes catches my breath away. I went downstairs immediately. There’s a basket of pear on the dining table and the song is still in the air. What a beautiful melody. I grab the fresh juicy pear and dash out to search for the source of the music.
The wind kept blowing, gently as I pass through the garden holding a pear in my hand. Birds flew victoriously above the sky, the cerulean sky. A perfect evening for a stroll in the garden. I look at the pear that I grabbed from the kitchen and I realized that it has the same the same shape as the guitar held by a boy at the centre of the garden. He smiled at me and I returned a smile.
There’s my friend playing a guitar in the middle of the garden and today is my last today here in Kuching, my last time hanging out with my friend prior to my departure to Bangi. Listening to the melodious song taste like the juicy pear. I’m enjoying this very special moment of a pear and a melodious song, a special song indeed.
-THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES-