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tadi bila awak nyanyi, awak cakap kau ilhamku..
tak sanggup nak dengar sampai habis..
saya tak suka dengar awak cakap benda2 cam tu..
especially when its not for me..
habis mood saya hilang sebab awak..
awak tau tak??
awak bersalah!

3 months and 16 days

When people ask what makes you so perfect, I can’t help myself from smiling. For no reason sayang. The flashback appears and then I’m back to the moment when you say ‘I’m yours and you’re mine’.

People should know by now, you’re nothing but a perfect beautiful mistake. I never regret it. Not even once, even when I say [I hated you] or when I say [you’re crazy], still I keep crawling back to you. And your memory.

So sayang, I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up. I wish I have your shoulder to lean on once again.

reblog

i lost my sun who shines my day.
i lost my moon that lighten my dark night...
i lost my star that twinkle along with my dreams...
i lost u...
the only person that one time was mine....

* reblog aku punya post from the PAST

11 painful things :

ini aku larh gila!!!

bila kita suka someone bukan kerana rupa,
bila kita suka sumeone not because of his money,
not even because of what people say,
that feeling will lasts the longest.

do trust me..

* aku still kat sini

It has been 3 months and thirteen days since I lost him. 12th November 2011, the date which I will never forget.

It was raining from the night before. As if the world knew that we’re separating. I went to Kajang for my monthly head check up. Everything started from a very simple question. ‘is it jealousy?’

The question marked the event. Where the time stood still. If I can ever go back to the moment and change my mind. I would never ever ask the question. The world’s biggest mistake I’ve ever did. How can I be so reckless?

If I can ever say sorry again. I would have done that. But then, it’ll be a very awkward moment. I wish the time stood still once again. In between of the split second, I want to say ‘I love you’ once again. If I can ever return to the past, I would have done that and explain very well to you or maybe break the bond between me and him. Plainly to get you back. Enough of all the tears and tissue and mucus. Tell me where is your heart. I’m eager to seek for it.

25 February, 12

ILYSM

wondering why I love you and I miss you. It's a DISEASE

Stuck in the Moment - Justin Bieber

perfect konon

Apa yang berlaku sekarang, you can pretend as if I didn’t know anything but the truth is, I know it. You found yourself someone perfect. The type which is 1800 different compared to me kan. Awak tau apa rasanya bila dapat tau? Rasanya macam tak tau nak describe macam mana. Awak tanya Maxx apa yang berlaku malam tu. Saat saya dapat tau the truth, I broke down to tahap yang no one can describe. Kecewa sangat dgan diri sendiri. I feel like I was nowhere near PERFECT and that’s the reason you chose her instead of me.
So F*** of the perfect person because everyone knows NOBODY is PERFECT.

b.r.o.k.e.n

Rupanya tak senang untuk kita melupakan seseorang. Kalau tengok movie, macam senang je that girl nak lupakan the GUY tapi the truth is, it hurts to the backbone..okay!
It is so not easy until even after I tried so many times it didn’t work. Im so tired of the drama. I really miss the old moments. I still remember that one night, I slept early around 8pm. It was back then when texting is necessary to me and him. We used to text every night, until one of us say goodnight and sweet dreams sayang. And that night, I didn’t text him even a single one. He made the first move and text me:

1)Around 8.30pm : Hye
Nobody replied the text of course, I was sleeping. Then he sent me another one saying:

2)Around 10pm : Awak tgah buat apa?
Still, no reply. I’m still sleeping. So he sent me another text that truly touched me:
3)Around 12pm : saya minta maaf kalau ada buat salah ngan awak tau. Saya sayang awak.
I woke up at 2.30am that night to study chemistry since we have pop quiz the next day, and I saw the texts. Of course i replied. I asked him why he said such thing?

He said : saya takut saya ada buat salah ngan orang yang saya sayang. Sebab tu la saya minta maaf.

To AWAK, yes! Awak. Awak tau la sapa yang saya maksudkan kalau awak baca post ni. I miss this moment so much, i keep remembering it until now. How much i want to say ‘saya sayang awak’ lagi. Saya nak dengar awak cakap kat saya ‘saya sayang awak’ lagi. Saya nak awak conteng buku chemist saya lagi. I miss you.
Kalau la saya boleh putar balik masa yang lalu, saya nak buat awak happy selalu. Saya tak mungkin sakitkan hati awak macam dulu. Nak je saya buat announcement ‘saya minta maaf MYTH’. Biar semua orang tau, saya jahat ngan awak.

i'm waiting

So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Hujan bawa air mata ku
Yang mengalir membasuh luka ku
Agar dia tahu ku terseksa
Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku

:) i know im strong..
since he told me the reason..
ive made it..
i went through the days without tears..
im PROUD of myself..
i know i am!!

tak senang, tak mudah dan tak mahu melupakan

sure i can move on..
but i'll take a long time..
to forget..
and to delete the past is IMPOSSIBLE..

pantun 6 kerat

penuh makna bg aku..
especially yelah..
setelah putus harapan..

and it never means that
suicide is the only way out..

if this was a movie kan..

if this was a movie :(

Come back, come back, come back to me like
You would, you would if you just said you're sorry
I know that we could work it out somehow
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

If you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on
I've be waiting for you ever since you've been gone
I just want it back the way it was before

Even though I know you're not there

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby
Thinkin' 'bout everythin' we've been through
Maybe I've been goin' back too much lately
When time stood still and I had you

I cant breathe without you....

I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

porcine dna

so ak da start buat skit2 keja yg prof aku bg..
harap2 by the time laptop aku sampai ak da bleh habiskan..
insyaAllah..

oh my life...

hectic tahap bangang doe..
penat gila aku minggu ni..
ta tau aku buat apa sampai penat sgat..
especially mental..
2 3 hari lgi buat kerja tanpa henti mcm ni,
aku da qualified masuk hospital mental..
trust me..
layak!!
main badminton everyday this week buat kaki aku keras mcm kayu balak..
tambah lagi rentas desa yesterday..
sakit gila hati..
dah la panas tahap gaban..
kena marah lgi..
jgan harap la aku nak join rentas desa lgi..
nyways..
miss u..
MYTH..
and my laptop will arrive next saturday..
im waiting for u my baby..
and aku dah nak start buat aku punya report pasal forscience tuh..
lega dapat Prof yg bnyak membantu..

downloads..

problem gila doe..
tak bleh dload kat skolah or ukm..
watafak..
amende je la..
bengong je..
better lgi kat rumah..

peaches

You say good morning, and good evening
The day is done, and you've come to find
The words are fleeting, I hear your quiet breathing
Is something wrong?

You come on two knees, with more than two needs
Finding that it's all too easy
To be helped and found
You slept and he said

It is in you, to carry on
It is in you, to lay down fears that hold
It is in you, to find your way home

Daylight's coming, the sun is blazing
New beginnings seep into you
But in the end it's distant shadows
That finally overwhelm your senses
And this time around
Is it love that you crown?
And this time around
You'll be more than who you are

It is in you, to carry on
It is in you, to lay down fears that hold
It is in you, to find your way home


Could you find yourself a way home?
It is in you, to carry on
It is in you, to lay down fears that hold
It is in you, to find your way home

math...again..

how to say it out loud??

mcm berani je aku nak pg depan dia n ckap..
oi kau! kau masih benci aku ke?
bukan salah aku pun masa dulu2 tuh..
aku tak sengaja nak sakitkan hati kau!
bukannya kau tak tau mcm mana rapat aku dgn budak tu..
kau faham kan..
tapi kau tak pernah bg peluang..
i need at least a second chance..
im not begging for the third or fifth..
cant u just come to me n say it again??
i miss the old days..
i miss you..

Amirul Fitri

jumpa dia yesterday..
happy sgat coz dah lama tak jumpa dia..
aku bgtau dia pasal addmath..
dia sgat bangga ngan aku
*aku rasa
tapi no comment pasal tuh..
dia nak aku teruskan dgan flow aku skrang..
dun ever look back..
aku nak PROVE kan kat dia aku pun bleh jadi pandai cam diaa..
*cam diaa tau!